supernanny

Did you ever notice though, that the Nannies get the kids to behave WITHOUT beating them? I have teenagers, and I never hit them. They are really good, kind kids, who are doing well in school and have jobs. You can have good kids without resorting to violence. How are you going to teach your kids to be non violent? What do you do when your kids get too big to hit? You have to teach them to respect you just because you are the boss and not because you'll beat them if they don't. My kids respect me, and they know who's boss, and I did it without ever hitting them once. It can be done, it's more work and it's not taking the easy way out. It's easy to just hit, it also releases your frustration, but it's not teaching your kids a darn thing. Wow, the more I'm on this site, the more amazed I am at what's going on out there....

i got spankings all the time growing up. once, i stuck out my tongue at my mom(just playing around, i was never disrespecful) and she scraped a bar of soap along my teeth and made me sit there with soap in my mouth for a few minutes. i didnt stick out my tongue again until high school. lol. seriously. i am not a violent person even though i had spankings-a-plenti. i guess it depends on how you discipline them. there is no right or wrong just excessive or not enough.

I've noticed that a lot now people are scared to discipline their kids because they think it might be taken as violence or child abuse. All growing up I got spanked if I did something wrong and I never felt abused. I think it has to do mostly with the attitude of the parent...my parents never disciplined me because they were angry, it was to give me consequences for bad behavior. It totally worked, too. Kids need boundaries, and they are happier if they know exactly where the line is and exactly when they have crossed it. Kids are more secure and confident when they have absolutes.

back on may 23, under "children in shopping ctrs" on may 23, is a comment I made about these crazy kids, I am copying and pasting for you:

I€™m old old school yall. I BEAT ASSES!!! Don€™t get me wrong now, I don€™t come out swinging! I give them 3 chances to get right. If I have to talk to them about the same problem 3 times, that€™s it, their ass is mine!! They are 4 and 7. My 13yr old is no problem at this point now. But the other 2 are old enough to know when I mean business!! You gotta get them trained EARLY to avoid scenes and chaos like we see with others. If you try to start training them at 3 and 4 yrs old, it€™s too late because they are set in their ways!

dance is right!! Why are the families ALWAYS white ?!?
I give my kids plenty of chances to get it right before I spank them.
and for those people who NEVER spank their kids, fine, OK, some kids you can do that with, others you can't, especially if you have more than one kid because then you have sibling rivalry ALL DAY LONG!! they are 4,7 and 13 and it's summer now and them getting on each other's nerves is getting ON MY NERVES!!

dance_master you are my hero. (Tears, snot)

I rarely spank my children because I have put enough work into them that fall in line when I give them a certain look. Of course they test me at times and I have to let them know that the rules have not expired. Some parents don't even have the skills to raise children because they get all weak and whiney because they think it's mean to discipline a child.

My tip for the day: When your child throws a tantrum in public or you need to give him a good swap but don't want to make a scene, give him a nice pinch on the back of his upper arm. It stops them in their tracks and they will do anything for you to NEVER do that again. I call it The Stunner!

Dawndiva,

The pinch is tried and true. They better ask somebody!! LMAO!

Disappearing wooden spoons??? Sounds familiar! Try checking the heat vents in your house....just a suggestion...

I got a choice between restriction (not being able to play outside for a week) or a spanking. I chose the spanking. Yeah it hurt but was over and done with in a few seconds and outside I went. Time out doesn't work nowadays and if it does it only works for a short time and for the younger children if your lucky. When my mom was younger she used to have to pick a branch from the tree outside to get whacked with. If it wasn't big enough she had to go back out and get a bigger one to get hit with. If anyone did that now the cops would be called. How times have changed.

Yeah I had soap in my mouth as a kid. Talk about gross. If you have her bite down on it it will get stuck in her teeth. That's the worst. Been there done that.

no, thanks. I will just spank them, they learn the lesson, and get it over with for the both of us.
And to all the wooden spoon mothers, Wal-mart sells plastic ones, and HEB sells them in a 3 pack. I even lost the one in the car. Go figure.
I think parenting boils down to what you are comfortable doing. The parenting techniques that work for you may not work on other kids with other parents. That is why parenting is a choice, a personal choice.

I have never beaten my kids in their entire lives, but they have been spanked. I remember one time when my boys were little that we had gone to the grocery store. They were about 2 and almost 6 and we were in line to check out. My oldest son kept trying to put candy in the buggy while we waited to pay, and I kept telling him "No." He'd put it back and get another. Finally, I raised my hand to spank his hand so he'd leave the candy alone, and he said, "Don't beat me, Momma. Don't beat me!" As the wife of a police officer, you can imagine how this made me feel! As I said, my kids have never been beaten, only spanked, but they have grown into well-behaved young adults.

By the way, my husband has actually been sent to houses where a parent wanted HIM to use a belt on their kids because the kids wouldn't mind. His response is always, "That's not my job. It's YOUR job to discipline your kids, but I'll stay and watch while you use the belt so that it can't be said you went overboard."

Our oldest son, about the time he was 14 or 15, hit a point where he decided he would try his hand at rebellion. Apparently he erroneously assumed that the rules of the house would change simply because he wanted to have things his own way. WRONG...he threatened to tell the police they we beat him. My husband and I both said, "Go ahead; these officers have known you since you were born and they know our family. They know we don't beat our kids, and all they have to do is look your body over and they'll not find one bruise." Needless to say, he had second thoughts. It seems he didn't quite have the upper hand after all! Now you should hear his comments when he sees other children misbehaving. And he actually has thanked us for not letting him get away with things and for not being afraid to spank him because he knew there were times that he needed it.

Never heard the old saying "Spare the rod, spoil the child"? My parents spanked me, and my siblings. My brother is 17, and he is the most well adjusted boy that I know. He doesn't drink, do drugs, and has friends that a mom would be proud of. When he was little, he was very rebelious...and got his ass straightened out.. HE even says that if we didn't have parents that raised us the way they did, he would not be the way he is now. Me, well my parents tried time out, grounding, when that didn't work they busted my ass. I was 16, getting my ass busted. Guess what...I didn't sneak out anymore. When I was just getting grounded for sneaking out, the next night would come, and I would be out with my friends.
Paula, your kids never said anything embarrasing in public, trying to get your goat? That is the same reason the child would say don't beat me, because that child KNOWS that would draw attention to you and him/her.
No one talkes to your kids while they were in timeout untill they were apoligetic??? That sounds like crap right there because even a child at 3 can fake a sincere apology.
This is one of those topics just like religion, and politics..everyone is going to have their own opinion. No one is going to get anyone to change their minds on any of those topics. So lets stop stirring the pot, and leave it be. I spank my kids, you don't. I believe in God, you don't. It is a matter of choice and opinion..

Smacked him in the mouth? That's terrible. Poor kid. My child would have stopped spitting on the cat too. And I wouldn't have hit him. No it's not just about personal choice, it's about getting people to change their minds about things. I used to think spanking was ok, before I had kids of my own. But once I held my first newborn, I thought there had to be a better way. So I found it. It's really not that hard. How do you feel after you smack a child in the mouth? I guess you never had to hit him again after that? Your kids don't end up being rebellious if you don't hit them. Did you know that? And that doesn't mean no discipline. Why do people always equate not hitting to no discipline? If my 4 year old has faked his apology, I know it, and he's back in the chair until he means it.
And for the child in time out who spit on the wall? If she were mine, she would have stayed there until her mouth ran dry, and then she would have been made to clean up her mess!!! That would have worked! Also, I would have tried to find out what the heck was wrong with her in the first place that she was going around spitting on people! That is not normal behaviour.
And if parents are counting to 10, they are doing it wrong. Your child listens to you if you always follow through. Don't threaten what you are not going to actually do. Then they learn to listen in a hurry.
My kids don't say anything embarrassing in public because they don't have anything to say that would embarrass me. Not at least about myself.
Mnolen, your parents must have been good loving parents, so your brother grew up right, but he would have straightened out the same if they had learned another form of discipline. They could have raised him without any memories of having to hit him. Parenting is never just about what form of discipline you use. People can raise good kids and hit them, but I'm just saying they can raise good kids and not hit them too. That would be the one I prefer.