What do I do???

Well, as many/some of you know from my previous postings, I work for the military recruiting.  Because I work for the military recruiting, I am also a part of the family readiness group.

Let me go into the back brief of this situation....I am a contracted employee first of all.  I do the planning and coordinating of all Family events on my personal time.  The Soldiers, spouses and children are like family to me.  I would do anything within my power to help any of them with anything.  (maybe this is where I am in a tricky situation)  I have been doing this since day one of employment, and 99.9% of all the spouses love the fact that I do this because that means they don't have to step up to the plate to do anything.

Well, last night we had our first meeting of 2008 for all the spouses.  It turned out pretty well, we had good attendance and everyone enjoyed themselves.  There was one issue that came up.  One of the spouses made a comment.  That comment was "shouldn't the family readiness group be for only true members of the family and not some civilian that works for the company as the secretary?".  That kind of hit me like a ton of bricks and I didn't know what to say or how to react.  I was busy sitting down with the children that were there and reading them stories and playing with them to keep them occupied during the meeting.

Is there a such thing as caring too much about the people that you work with and their families?  Should I just back off and let them handle the things they want to (or in some cases not want to)?

Since my new commander has arrived I have really felt more and more like I am not part of the company.  There have been comments made that have hurt that she has said like "oh, I forgot about you" or "oh, I didn't think that you were part of the company because you are of course a civilian" or "you wouldn't understand".

Well, I do understand.  I have served my country and my flag, 2 years in the Navy, and 4 years in the guard.  Not only that but I have been a spouse of someone who served in the guard, even though our marriage dissolved after he got out and upon him cheating on me.  So, I do understand the life of the military.  I work around all the recruiters, I see what they go through on a daily basis.  I see how they have to be pushed, I see the punishments that come down.  Not to mention, I have been in my job for 3 years now, and I have dealt with having a co-worker in the office that was a complete and utter lazy jack a$$!

Should I stop caring?  Have I let myself get too close to everyone? 

I don't know what to do.  Anyone out there with some suggestions? 


You do what you feel ...

You do what you feel comfortable doing and have been doing, regardless of anyone elses comments or until your boss tells you otherwise. That person who commmented is the spouse of a military person. Doesn't that technically making them a civilian as well???
If you weren't there to do what ever it is you do, others would have to step in and take over doing it. Then there probably would be grumbling over that as well, from someone.
I suppose there could be such a thing as caring too much for people you work with, but thats not necessarily a bad thing. If that is just who you are and always have been, then don't change that for anyone else.

that's a cold hearted ...

that's a cold hearted BITCH that said that! it's not like you have 3 or 4 kids of your own that you bring to these functions, and let them KNOW that you DID your time, maybe not with them BUT you are still a veteran and if she thinks you shouldn't be included then she can do the shit by HERSELF without you!!

ask the other spouses and ...

ask the other spouses and see what they think about that bitch's comment. and how did the crowd react/answer when she made the comment?

if you are contracted to ...

if you are contracted to do the job why would they have a problem? maybe that person wants to do it herself? i think i would do as Dawn suggests and ask the other spouses what they think about 1. how you do your job and 2. what that person said. good luck

What a nasty thing to ...

What a nasty thing to say!!! Let HER give up personal time to help others like YOu do! I would also suggest she finds her OWN babysitter! Don't change how you are to please others ...ever. Maintain your standards and beliefs .. you sound like someone who would be a wonderful friend! :)

It sounds like she wants ...

It sounds like she wants to have the credit for the success of this ministry, rather than being thankful that someone cares enough about these families to do this in the first place. That was in poor taste, and hopefully someone set her straight about it once the meeting was over.

I would remind the witch ...

I would remind the witch that you are active guard reserve having insight into how things work and have been of help to many others. Offer to step aside. I would look directly at the witch and say "I'm not a "dependent" so I have more time to find solutions for the group. I bet the other spouses will speak up on your behalf. As an Air Force wife I can say the greatest blessings I had were when there was someone who could assist me when hubby had PCS or TDY.