question...

ok, i wont use a "lets say..." i will just tell you what happened.

last night adam worked until 11 and went out immediatly with his friends. i knew he was going out and wouldnt be back until around 5am like usual whenever he goes out. my alarm goes off at 6:30 and hes not in bed with me. so i get a little worried. i didnt get a phone call, either. so i think maybe rather than waking me up he slept in the living room. i check. hes not there. ok, now im pissed. so i shower and get ready for work hoping he would call me during that time. no call still. by now its 7:12 and i head out the door for work. he calls to let me know hes on his way home. we get in a fight about how its too late and he should have called last night if he knew he wouldnt be home by the time i woke up. then he tries to turn it around on me saying that if i was THAT worried i would have called him in the morning. he says he didnt want to call and wake me up just to have me yell at him about waking me up. my thoughts are who cares. get me angry waking me up, at least i know what youre going to do so i dont get the suprise of you not being home when i wake up.

so basically my question is...should i have gotten so angry about him not calling me to let me know he was going to be THAT late? i knew he would be home around 5am or so that wouldnt have bothered me. but he knows my schedule and he should have known that i would wake up wondering why he wasnt home. his excuse for not calling me was that his cousin got so drunk he puked on himself so adam was taking care of him. ok, so call me during THAT time. i guess his cousin is the one who drove and needed to sober up a bit before he could drop him off.

now a new argument is how he can let his cousin drive SO drunk that he pukes on himself. if he knows his cousin has a habit of drinking heavily even though hes driving, why is he still letting him drive to the bars? i dont want his cousins dumb ass getting my boyfriend mammed of killed.

Comments

you have every right to be ...

you have every right to be angry. i went through this crap. in fact this is why i am not married anymore. he used to pull the same thing only when he was done drinking he would end up a some womans house. i think that kind of thing is BS and he needs to grow up. when you respect someone you don't want them to worry so you call. as to allowing his cousin to drive drunk: well it's too bad that the cops didn't catch them because then he would have been calling you from jail and maybe learned a thing or two. if it were me i wouldn't put up with it but hey! i am probably the wrong one to give advice because if it kept happening i would throw his ass O.U.T.

What is it he's doing that ...

What is it he's doing that he's coming in at 5am? Could he be cheating?

oooh rkinne, you WENT ...

oooh rkinne, you WENT there!!! I don't think he's cheating ( I hope), I know when some guys get together, they go crazy and forget about time. he was INCONSIDERATE and you were worried, so what if he woke you up, at least you'd sleep better KNOWING he was OK!!

WELL...I actually was ...

WELL...I actually was thinking along the same lines as rkinne. I wondered if perhaps he "fell asleep" somewhere and the time got away from him, then, needing some story to tell you, he decided to use his cousin as an excuse? Sorry...don't be mad at me, conana. I just think this doesn't need to be taken lightly -- or untruthfully.

<p>Some other questions, ...

Some other questions, conana. Are bars in Chicago OPEN 'til 5 in the morning? And would the men actually be drinking all that time? If they had stopped drinking earlier, wouldn't the cousin have thrown up before time for Adam to be home?

I hope I'm not offending you, but (1) I'm married to a policeman so my "interrogation techniques" have sharpened, and (2) I have a son just slightly younger than your young man -- I have quite a bit of experience picking stories apart from the logistical standpoint. If one intends to try to trip up a person, I'm not the one to try doing that to -- I pay WAY too much attention to detail. Bummer...

Dawn..I really think she ...

Dawn..I really think she NEEDS to go there on this one!!

Going out after work with your work buddies is one thing..but after the bars close, he should be getting his rear end home..not staying out til 5 am every morning.

My question is? What's he doing until 5 am? After bar parties? All the time??

I think he's got some explaining to do on this one, conana..and passing the buck saying you should have called HIM if you were so worried isn't one of them!!

Thing is nestle...if he "fell asleep" he would have told her that instead of the hole ridden excuse about his cousin.

I agree Nestle!! I was ...

I agree Nestle!! I was married to the con of all cons regarding stories of all shapes and sizes when he came home at all hours of the morning after bars closed...

"I fell asleep at so and so's house"
"I ran outta gas"
"We went out for breakfast...(and 3 hours worth of time just got away from a bunch of guys in a restaurant...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!)

The list went on and on!! Good for you being a policeman's wife and your interrogation techniques!! I'm the ex wife of a con man and I'll say the same regarding knowing the in's and out's of a liar!

Conana..bless your heart for putting up with his 5 am "curfew", but you have every single right to put your foot down!!

Timbuktu, let me clarify ...

Timbuktu, let me clarify -- I haven't honed my techniques on my husband -- I just mean, my exposure to law enforcement has been such that I've learned a thing or two!

sorry, i couldnt go online ...

sorry, i couldnt go online last night as adams brother decided to play some stupid xbox live game all fucking night!

some of the bars close around 3am here. after the bar they drove to their friends house and THATS where his cousin threw up. hes not cheating. thats not his character. his brother has tried to get him to be more...umm....like HIM (a cheating, lying, asshole). adam refused to be like that. when he called me that night before i went to bed, at about 11:30, i commented that he would be in at around 5, like usual when he goes out. he agreed and we hung up. usually when they go out they go back to his friends house and they play xbox or something just to kill some time. THATS why he comes home so late, er, early. and believe me dawn, once he told me that about me not calling him if i was "that worried" just set me off. i was more angry than worried once i noticed he wasnt home at all and never called. for a second i got worried but then anger just swept over me. i was planning on calling him on my way to work so i can yell at him in the car rather than the house where everyone was sleeping.

i know he was just being inconsiderate. his excuse was that he didnt realize the time until after his cousin cleaned up and they got ready to leave. regardless of the time, i want a phone call so i know that when i wake up, you wont be there. hes such a sweet person, and he treats me like a queen, usually, but that just ticked me off. im basically over it now (out of sight out of mind) but i still havent shaken it all off yet. im sort of giving him a cold shoulder. he came home from work last night around midnight and i didnt say a word to him, didnt get up to give him a hug/kiss like usual. i just layed there. when he left this morning for work at about 7:45 (he was supposed to start at 7..he overslept and i had to poke him. he is SO lucky i woke up early today). so i just gave him a boring hug and quick kiss. i know he knows im still aggrivated.

thanks guys for letting me get this off my chest. my pale, pasty chest. lol *sigh* i need to go somewhere warm.

regarding the 5am "curfew" ...

regarding the 5am "curfew" he works hard and has very few days off. so when he DOES go out, which isnt often, im fine with him being out all night. i know that guys just need to have thier fun and i dont want to ruin that for him and be one of "those" girlfriends that demand he be home by 2 or something. i trust him not to fool around. he tells me everything that goes on when he goes out. even if they go to a stripclub (which i think they havent done in about a year) and a waitress is hitting on him. i dont want any reason to NOT trust him, so he tells me everything.

Conana, I'm glad he's not ...

Conana, I'm glad he's not the cheating kind! That's a relief. I'm sure your heart will continue to soften through the day, so everything should be back to normal soon, huh? I hope so!

What you and he agree to ...

What you and he agree to is up to the both of you. The problem arises when he says he is going to be home at a certain time and doesn't bother to arrive at that time or call. It is his responsibility to call you not yours to try to track him down. He is simply trying to weasel out of the mess he knows is his fault. A good long talk with no shouting should clear the air and make him very aware of your position. He needs to grow up and take responsibility for his actions. If he wants to be treated like a real man, he needs to act like a real man. Letting his cousin drive drunk is not the behavior of an adult and riding in the vehicle with the drunk cousin driving is just plain stupidity.

i agree sam. i told him ...

i agree sam. i told him its very immature of him and his cousin to be driving drunk.

walter, im sorry to toy with you. i just figured you are happily married and such. besides, tgix and i have a little something something happening. ;-)

i think im not really all that upset about what happened anymore, i think that something is wrong with ME. like a phase of depression or something like that. i keep braking out in tears randomly and i just dont want to do anything but sleep and stay in bed. so i think im just mentally bad right now. him not calling seemed to have started it, as i was fine before that. and now its just seems to have lingered. we'll be fine. he's a great person he just made a mistake.

*sarcasm alert* thanks ...

*sarcasm alert* thanks vulcan. O_o not so much that i let him "win" as there is just no reason for me to continue being angry about it. he knows now that he needs to call me if hes going to be late. whats stupid, though, is that he calls me when hes on his way home from work. lol. im not giving him TOO much crap about not calling because it is his first (and hopefully ONLY) offence. im sure hes going to make sure he calls from now on.

my hair looks really good today. very shiney and smooth. hmmm, i guess laying in bed all day with a sense of self loathing makes hair look nice. lol. *high fives myself*

Conana, don't let that ...

Conana, don't let that depression get out-of-hand. Everyone has times when they become discouraged and depressed, but only wanting to sleep and stay in bed are red flags that you need to see your doctor ASAP. We'll keep checkin' in on ya!

damn vulcan, that sucks. i ...

damn vulcan, that sucks. i cant imagine fastering something like that for so long. adam goes out with his friends (two of which are ladies) and i have no problems with that. i know hes not going to do anything. and i trust them to behave as well. he talks about me to them all the time (good stuff...you know...about how great i am XD).

and im feeling better. i think i was just upset about being upset with adam. if that makes sense. i can only put on a happy face for so long to keep everyone else happy before it brings me down. i just had to let it out. *ahh* relief!