my question for the day

I'm about to leave to run an errand BUT before I go, I MUST ask this question:

WHY is it so HARD for a man (my husb) to give a woman (ME) money??

Y'all know I was laid off about 2 weeks ago and we did get our tax refund but we have to try to conserve it since I lost my job so I don't ask for ANYTHING.  He KNOWS I have no job, I.E. no money!  WHY should I have to even ASK him for money when he KNOWS I need it and I have none at all and IF I DO ASK, WHY IS IT SUCH A F**KIN PROBLEM TO GIVE IT TO ME!!??  I need to go grocery shopping and get gas...that's all I do since I have NO job!  I don't go anywhere (to conserve gas) and I don't eat out!!

Comments

<p>this came about over ...

this came about over the weekend when he asked me to take our dog back to the vet to get his ears taped up since they were cropped, they don't sit up right. so I told him I don't have any gas or money because I have to drive across the Miss. river and there is a 1.00 toll to get back home. the vet tells me that the dog has to stay til 4:30 to get it done because they put him to sleep to do it so that means I have to take him there this morning and come back home and go back later to get him...so I need AT LEAST 2.00 RIGHT!!??

well I told him before he left for work this morn and he said all right I'll leave you something. I was SO expecting to see just 2.00 on the counter but he gave me 15.00...OOOHHH, LUCKY ME!!

Well I don't know him nor ...

Well I don't know him nor you...but is he controlling , even in the slightest? If thats not like him to be, then perhaps he is just trying to keep track of the spending to make sure there is enough money to cover things, until there is another income, even if he knows you won't go out and spend it foolishly..

Is it possible that thats ...

Is it possible that thats all the cash he had on him at the time?

<p>NOT...we have cash from ...

NOT...we have cash from the refund we got and he makes good $ at Fedex and as far as controlling..I never saw him that way until now. when I had a full time job BEFORE the hurricane money was never an issue or problem.

all I'm sayin is he could say...hey babe do you have any cash or need a little bit, if he asked me more often I wouldn't have to ALWAYS say YES cuz he would have asked me before and I would have some and won't always need his cash but when I ask, it's a bother, his face turns up and he says how much with that fucked up look on his face, so I don't ask anymore!

and he is VERY tight with money UNLESS it's something that he wants...

maybe you two should sit ...

maybe you two should sit down and talk about this, that you hate not having money and hate asking him all the time and maybe you two can come up with an amount that you should have every week for food, gas etc..and that way he won't feel like you are asking him all the time and you won't feel like you do, when you have to always ask. If you are the one doing the grocery shopping and all then you should have access to money for at least that reason.
I understand your position though, it does make you feel less than equal to him when you have to ask for money, when its supposed to be both of yours, regardless who actually goes out and earns it.

oye! my dad is the same ...

oye! my dad is the same way. my mom doesnt work because she babysits my nephews every week. so when she grocery shops and asks for some money he tells her, "dont you have anything left from last time?" umm, no...that was a week ago. i need gas and food money for me and the kids.

so he then reaches into his pocket all slow and sly. like he is the money ruler of the world. i swear, if you listen carefully, you can actually HEAR the wallet creak as its opened. im suprised there isnt a lock on it. and he reaches in and hands her a 50 to go grocery shopping. my mom has to not only use that 50 for food, but she tries to scavange as much as she can out of it so she can take the kids out to get something to eat or do some fun activity so shes not home bored with them all day.

now THATS being cheap. AND get got his refund (just over 3k i believe) AND 3 vacation checks, PLUS his regular check. so he has about 7k if not more. and now hes buying things he wants (stuff for the computer or his remote control car) but still argues with her when she asks for money. what i dont get is how my parents have been married for 25+ years and theyve never had a joint account!

Don't you have a joint ...

Don't you have a joint checking account for household expenses? I know lots of friends who keep separate accounts because one is a saver and one is a spender, but they always have a joint account for bills, groceries, etc... My parents have never had a separate account.

zIn fact, my Mom was usually the one to keep track of things and make sure Dad wrote it in the book. When he retired, they started doing it together. It's not good for just one partner to manage the finances because if that person is disabled in some way, the other doesn't know what's going on.

LOL, conana and we do too ...

LOL, conana and we do too have sep accts cuz when we first got married he said that I was spending too much money every week so we got sep accts. what I want is for him to come shopping with me once a week for a month so he can SEE what I mean when I say what I spend on food and gas!
I MADE him go to walmart with me on Sat and I had a list of about 10 things and it came up to a grand total of 18.49!!! that was cuz those were things I had FORGOTTEN when I did the REAL shopping!!!

and I manage all the bills cuz I pay them online, he can't even TYPE!!
so I handle that.

he thinks that 100.00 is ...

he thinks that 100.00 is enough for gas and groceries each week...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
THAT IS SO FUNNY I ALMOST CHOKED!!!
he's clueless!!!

well, thats why my parents ...

well, thats why my parents have seperate accounts. when they got married my mom racked up about 15 credit cards that my grandpa ended up paying off for her so we wouldnt be on food stamps anymore. but that was 15 years ago. oh well.

Dawn, you need to work out ...

Dawn, you need to work out a budget of what you will need for the week then give it to him. it's not right that you should have to ask every time you need a little something. each payday he should hand over the money you will need to run the house and that includes gas and tolls. and taking him shopping is a good idea. then he will see how much it costs.

man what I would give to ...

man what I would give to get my hair done...

i usually get my hair cut ...

i usually get my hair cut once a year if im lucky. it just costs too much to go to someone who will actually do a GOOD job. ive had my share of bad 'dos.