Do's and Don't for Calling Call Centers
Just thought I'd give a few tips for those who call call centers for service and support.....
1. Talk in a clear voice, don't mumble, and for god's sake turn the TV or Radio down!
2. If you're using a cell phone find a place with good reception and stay there; or if you are driving PLEASE close your friggin windows!
3. Don't eat while talking to us, its hard to understand you while you're stuffing your bloated face.
4. Do your bowel movements after you've hung up, we really don't wanna hear that. And for the love of god eat more fiber!
5. Do us all a favor have a piece of paper and pen handy BEFORE you call, we don't have the time for you to search hi and low for a pen. We have other people waiting for our help too, the world doesn't revolve around your grouchy arse.
6. Calling and giving an attitiude to someone who can help you isn't wise, think it about. *Slap* You shoulda had a V8.
7. PAY ATTENTION! Yes, you! I know you have a short attention span, I can't help if you're not working with me.
8. We can only do what our employers tell us, you can act like a two year old and throw a fit if you like, but nothing will change. Oh, and by the way nice example to set for your real two year old, for real.
9. Cursing me out will only earn you a place on hold, its a nice place called Limbo Land, good luck finding your way out!
10. I am married, I'm not your honey, sweetie, baby, stud, etc., please stop calling me by those names or I just might have a name or two to call you.
11. If we tell you we'll call you back in half an hour, do not call back 5 minutes later asking when we'll call. GET A WATCH "PAL".
12. When we place you on hold its usually because other people have called before you, stay on line the and we will take calls in the order they come in. If you hang up and call back you just put yourself back at the end of the line, moron.
13. Don't call an hour after the office closes and expect service from one of our technicians. I don't care if you are a personal friend of the company owner, no means no jerk off, now go away.
14. The operators here all have the same instructions, we're all going to give the same answers. Got that Spunky?
15. I'm sorry that we had to ask you to spell your name, but people seem to go out thier way to spell thier kids names in whatever crazy way they can. Amy, for example, can be spelled Amy, Ami, Amii, Ame, or Amie.