I sure didn't think I was signing up for this shit!
OK.. you fellow peevers who are with a man with a BITCH ex (who by the way, I have never met nor talked to yet and who I call a BITCH because I have heard her on the other end of the phone to him, and notes, etc. and she is apparently still bitter about him leaving her but it was not for me..he and I met in 2006) and kids spawned from that same BITCH...how do you deal with those hellion kids that obviously have their fat ass mamas attitude and no rules, respect, etc. etc. etc? and a man (whom you love) that says well they are kids and I only see them every other weekend.. And I say well neither you (because you could enforce it when they are in your care) nor their (did i say BITCH mama?) are doing either kid a favor by not enforcing rules and making them use manners and show some respect for others and others property and listen when they are told to do something... (OH WAIT,they would have to have been taught all that in the first friggin place by their mother, at least, since she has had them almost full time for the past 6 yrs. The kids are 9 and 12..)
We went away for the weekend all together (WTF WAS I THINKING), and talk about them acting like a couple of a-holes..OMG! and being guests in someone elses house and acting like that..It doesn't matter that it was family or not... It goes well beyond the weekend episode...He and I have been living together since this past August.
Short of moving out, which is looking real good.. I am at a loss how to handle this..
Comments
If the father wont step up ...
If the father wont step up and lay down the law (rules) for his house, you are fighting an uphill battle. He needs to sit them down and state the rules and stick to them.
I remember when you first ...
I remember when you first told us about those kids, which as rude as they are you can't really blame them if they were raised that way. so, what to do? it's hard cuz they are so old already past time when you could really have taught them well enough. they COULD still learn but it'd be hard pressed doing so and with much resistance from them, I'm sure. it seems like he just lets it all slide BECAUSE he doesn't see them often, but that doesn't make it right though. he's still gotta be a parent. but I guess he figures that if he starts to ride them about things that they may not want to see him anymore. he needs to talk the THAT woman and make her understand how to be civil and try do not be so misunderstanding and bitchy about things cuz the kids are growing up the wrong way. I'm just not sure what else to do. SHE really needs to grow up.
<p>The son has a cell ...
The son has a cell phone he brings to his dads if he needs/wants to call his mom..why he has to bring one, I don't know, he could use his dads..anyways, he knows that he is NOT allowed to call her after 9 pm according to his dads rule because their mom won't let the dad talk to them if he ever calls after 9 pm...sounds fair..so twice, the little a-hole (sorry, thats the way he acts) sneaks the phone, and most recently at 11:45 pm the other night and I catch him on the phone and tell him to hang up. He says to her that he has to hang up and she apparently said who said so and he told her..Shay...then I get his dad who comes out there and gets after him and the kid says to his mom, I have to go..so we drop them off at home on sunday and the ex bitch can't even come outside, she sends an older son..in his 20's from some other dad to tell me that the kid can use his own phone when ever he wants.. and that he doesn't appreciate me telling him that he cant...WTF business is it of his..the fat ass bitch hides behind her kids and is only confrontational behind a phone!!!!..now again I have never even met these people..none of them..and I of course am wanting to GO TOTALLY OFF ON HIM since its not his friggin concern but the only thing i did say calmly since the kids were not out of the truck yet, was that they aren't allowed to GET CALLS after 9 from their dad and their dad did finally say, that NO ONE is calling her after 9 unless its an emergency..so this morning the b/f and I had a rather heated discussion about how I think he should get it through his sneaky ass kids head at 12 yrs old that he HAS TO FOLLOW THE FRIGGIN RULES! The dad doesn't get them until 6 on Fridays and has them back home about 5-6 on Sundays..They can surely wait to talk to her at home or call her earlier..They are not at their dads to be in constant contact with the mom..Its the dads time with them and Dawn as far as the dad having a talk with the mom, that is out of the question..she won't talk to him face to face ever unless its at court for some reason..she does it by little notes she has the kids give to him...yes she needs to grow up and get over it..
None of that is anything ...
None of that is anything that a person in your position would ever be able to resolve. Is anyone in that family in counseling? If they aren't, they need it. If they are, and it's not having a positive effect, it may be time they switch to another counselor and/or another form of treatment. There are the traditional cognitive behavioral approaches and quite a number of others nowadays. Check out this web site http://www.basic-counseling-skills.com/index.html
That's good advice Ed, ...
That's good advice Ed, however it appears that neither parent sees a problem, only with each other. I know the kids dad is fairly oblivious to their actions and I am the bad guy for bringing it to his attention. They will never go to counseling for the issues they have. The ex wife is a bitter woman and it has no doubt had an effect on the kids. She bad mouths the dad on the phone in front of the kids. No wonder the 12 yr old boy is like he is..He's got his mamas attitude. GRRRR...I am cringing at the thought of having them over tomorrow for the night...I think it is time to make a move..on out to my own place again and /or find a new b/f. This is way too friggin stressful for someone that doesn't like drama!!