>:-(
It looks like this spring I will have to pick up a second job. Looking at costs for the wedding and the amount of bills we have (Adam has) it's just too much.
While Adam is trying to pay off his Amex card ($200/month), aside from his other bills, I am paying the house bills and my own. I'm trying to give him the chance to knock out his credit cards so he will be debt free, so I am paying the house bills. This is just killing me. I don't get paid a lot (considering what I do, I do get a lot) but it's not enough to make ends meet AND pay for a wedding. My parents told me a few times that they are paying for it, all of it, but I told my mom I'm not comfortable with that and that I never expected them to pay. I was happy they payed the reception deposit.
I need to get the caterer taken care of soon and that requires a deposit and I am not going to ask my parents for the money. If they insist and give it to me, fine. But I won't just go to them and say, "Hey, I am booking the caterer and they require a $1000 deposit to hold the date. Do you guys think you can help me out?" NOT going to happen like that!
This month I paid Nicor ($150), Com Ed ($100), Water ($50), Verizon ($140-I forgot to pay last months bill), JC Penny card ($50), Target card ($200), Car Note ($313), Car Insurance ($125-I pay monthly and my insurance went up when I moved and lost the multi car discount). Not to mention I spent $200 on window treatments, about $75 on the chair cushions for the outdoor furniture, and about $150 on groceries.
And now Adam needs me to help him with his Amex payment this month. For whatever reason he's short on money and needs $150 to pay it. I don't argue about it because he has helped me pay my bills before, but this is just getting frustrating that I am paying everything. Yes, our money is "ours" but it's still in my account and for my use. He lives here too and should foot 50% of the bill like he had been doing. But the last 2 months he hasn't been paying anything but his own debt. GRR!
So this spring I will see about getting a 2nd job for weekends near our house so I can bike it to work. I need to get this wedding stuff taken care of, I need to save money, and I need to pay bills and I just don't have any leftover money after paying the bills to save. Adam insists that HE get the second job, but he is tied up at his job more than he needs to be as is. He is there 24/7. If he got a 2nd job he would burn out within a month. At least my schedule is the same every week. He has to work overnights sometimes, 7-3 shift, and 3-11 shift. All those shifts are random and can come at any time. Today and tomorrow he's working a double, then he's working 2 overnight shifts in a row. It just sucks that he works salary because all that overtime and no overtime pay for it makes me want to stab his job.
Comments
I checked online and there ...
I checked online and there is nothing open for what I was interested in. So I thought that maybe sometimes new-store employees leave shortly after opening and I can get my chance then. I dunno.
Conana, you can usually ...
Conana, you can usually apply for a job at a new store opening before they open. There is usually a sign some where near the building with a number to call. You might want to try that to get a jump on applying before there are no openings left after they open..Just a thought!
Yeah, we're pretty lucky ...
Yeah, we're pretty lucky to not have kids just yet.
Luckily, there's a Super Target opening this month just about a 1/2 mile from our house! HUZZAH! So once that place opens I will be applying for a weekend position. I hate to work a second job as I am SO lazy, but we need the money. Well, we don't NEED the money, but Adam wants a little more of a cushion (as do I) rather than being broke all the time like we are now. *does happy dance for the Target opening soon*
well good luck girl, it ...
well good luck girl, it can be pricey, but you're young and have no kids so that helps a LOT. I'd work a LOT more differently IF I didn't have kids. but I'm stuck with this basic type of schedule with kids in my life.
*if things weren't ...
*if things weren't perfect, not were. Man, my typing is crazy today!
Oh, and I am DIY with ...
Oh, and I am DIY with anything that I possibly can. I am growing my own flowers, doing the invites, making the centerpieces (consisting of pumpkins and gourds and candles), and baking the cake. I've been back and forth a little regarding the bar. I do want alcohol. There is the option of having just beer, wine, sodas, and maybe a signature cocktail. I spoke with Adam about it and he wants a full bar so he can have his tequila sunrises or whatever. We aren't done with that discussion. XD
Sorry I posted before I ...
Sorry I posted before I saw your post, tgix. I'm not saying I want anything perfect. I couldn't care less if things were perfect for the wedding. Specifically for the wedding, all I care is to look nice, have good food, and good music. Everything else is show.
I say that I don't know why he's short on cash because I actually don't know. I think he paid more money on a credit card than necessary and then ended up short. But we haven't talked about it. I've hardly seen him this week.
I'm not complaining about getting a 2nd job. I've worked 2 even 3 jobs at once. I was just venting that he's not covering any of the house bills. That's pretty much what it comes down to.
I'm just trying to keep the wedding planning simple, but nice. I want to cut some people from the guest list. We can eliminate a lot of people just by deleting "and guest" to a number of our friends/family.
*no tuxes. Not to tuxes. lol.
*no tuxes. Not to tuxes. lol.
Heck, I agree with you. I ...
Heck, I agree with you. I wanted to elope or at least do a small private ceremony with no reception, just a dinner for some close family memebers. But Adam wants a ltraditional wedding. He wants his family to see him get married.
Our guest list is at 100 people. Which is still relatively small compared to other weddings. But I was hoping to stay under 75. Adam has a lot of family and he is a family man. I couldn't care less if half my family is there. But I can't invite my moms side without inviting my dads. Grr. It's just too much crap regarding hurting peoples feelings and such.
I've envisioned a small, simple wedding. Me in a very untraditional dress, my bridesmaids wearing whatever dress they want so long as its the same color. Very few flowers. To tux's for the groom and his groomsmen. Just suits. Stuff like that. Keep it simple. I want to cut costs but the dang food is what costs so much. I can't justify spending 4k on food.
Just a little advice in ...
Just a little advice in case it might help:
Your bills don't sound out of line to me. And you are on the right track about getting debt paid off first.
Second jobs are nothing to fret either, many of us have them. I've worked no less than 80 hours a week (often 100) while building my business and now split it (almost 40 hrs.) along with a "regular" job of 40. It is quite doable, especially if you like what you do. It can help also to "fake it until you make it". That's a super concept. You look for the best in things, see them as challenges, not problems. I came up with this quote some years ago and live by it - Problems are only solutions waiting to happen. Make a game of it. Feel good about it by relishing the fact you're working for the right reasons, putting your time and your money to good use. You may need to consciously remind yourself of these things at times and that's OK too.
Also, you say about Adam "For whatever reason he
I ...
I hatehatehatehatehatehatehate weddings! (sorry for holding back!) The cost is outrageous and nothing but stressful! And people do not know how to keep their mouths shut and argue with you or actually get angry if you don't do it their way or invite who they want.
We went to Vegas. Called an 800 number, they sent info on all the chapels with information like what packages they offer and how much they are, and do customization. We made our choice, called the chapel, set the date and they did all the work.
No calling every business in town and comparing prices, then hoping all of them are available on your big day. A limo picked us up in front of our hotel, and when the wedding was done it gave us a tour of the strip and dropped us off in front of our hotel. They even arranged it so that a hairdresser came to my room and did my hair and makeup! We had it arranged so people could watch it live over the internet. And all that was MUCH cheaper than the average wedding and we got tons of pictures and flowers. in fact, we got more than we would have been able to afford the conventional way.
A couple of weeks later we had a reception. We had invited only people we were close to. None of this inviting someone you haven't seen since you were 2 so that no feelings were hurt. no inviting relatives you can't stand because you "have to". It was stress-free and fun!
Here's a cute money saving idea-we borrowed my brother's stereo, everyone contributed cds, and all the guests took turns being a dj. That's was soooo much more fun as the night progressed and people had been drinking! LOL
Sorry for being cynical-don't want to badmouth your big day! (smile) Wishing you all the best!