BEEP BEEP BEEP!!!!!!!!!

My wife [shudders] is downstairs, attempting to bake a pizza. A Tomb Stone pizza. The smoke alarm is getting a marathon workout. I told her, PREHEAT THE OVEN, SET THE TIMER, and you can't possibly burn it, if you comply with instructions on the box. Yeah yeah, o.k. she says. Whereupon, she goes to the freezer, gets the pizza, and plops it in the oven. Then turns it on. And ignores the timer. BEEP BEEP BEEP!!!! It's enough to drive a man to drinking hehhehhehheh